I too, had a dream

In that dream, I was somebody else.
My whole life behind me was nothing more than a memory. A shadow. Something that shaped me, but would never find me again.
I always believed people could change. I thought that was real. I thought you could really change who you are.
Maybe you can. Maybe if you try hard enough.
But I've been brainwashed.
I can't do anything more than try to progress myself.
I can't enjoy the time I'm having right now, because money is so tight.
I thought my dream was to move to the mountains. I thought that out here I would make so many good friends. I thought I could be someone else. I thought I could sleep around and never have it bite me in the ass.
Oh right. This is a small town. Wow. that wasn't thought out very well.
Every time I do something. Every time I show my face, someone sees. Someone is always watching me, because, let's face it, that's all there is to do.
I think I've realized that there's nothing left for me here.
Maybe that's the stress talking. Maybe I'm just down on myself.
But when you get in a car accident and it royally FUCKS you over, and you're out of work, what do you think?
What the fuck am I supposed to think?
I have a chance here to start over.
I can collect the insurance money and live without a car for a while.
I know I can, but then I lose my second job.
I love delivering pizzas. But in order to do that, I HAVE to buy a car. I need to dish out money again, and hope to the sweet God above that it runs properly. I have to fist-fight my insurance company to get the money for my car. I've been fighting all month. I have nothing to show. I'm tired. I'm weary.
I've been playing video games for hours and hours on end. Because if I don't do that, I drink.
I'm drinking my money away. I'm drinking my chances of pulling out of this away.
So I'm inside all day.
I spend $700 a month so I can set up my computer in a mediocre condo room and play video games.
No, this is not my dream. This was never my dream.
So come November, do I stay, or do I try to start over again?
I could move to the city. It's only an hour away. I have friends there. I have family.
There's opportunity. There's a second chance.
So why don't I take it?
Maybe it's time to go again. Maybe, for the 6th time in 2 years, it's time to pack up and move out.
I won't be far away though. I can always come back.
But this place isn't for me.
This place was for the me I wanted to be.
Not the me that I really am.

What a fucking week

I feel as though this needs to be shared. Why? I don't know.
So this week started out with my ex-girlfriend going crazy.

BACKSTORY
So I finally meet a really nice girl. We have a lot in common. Our up-bringing, parental views, religious views, etc. Like we had a LOT in common (more than I mentioned). We hooked up a few times, then it started to get serious.
We had a date, and it went really nicely, so we decided to make it official.
Few weeks in, we went back to Saskatchewan for a week. Stayed at my buddy's house, chilled out, met the parents. Everything was great!
Too great.

So she had some psychological issues. She said she had a demon following her around. Every once in a while, it would "attack" her. She would get really shaky and freak out a little bit. Nothing too horrendous. She was always okay once I talked to her and comforted her for a bit.

Anyways, back to the story.
So on this trip to Saskatchewan, we dropped the L-bomb. That should have been a red flag. We were only weeks in. But at the time, we were 110% sure we were in love!
We talked about moving in together some day. Unfortunately, that day was fast approaching.
Not even 2 weeks after we came back, I quit my job, and with it, left my residence. It was a bad call. I didn't have anything lined up, didn't have any money, and didn't have a job lined up.
But we made it through. The day before I was kicked out, we managed to line up a place.
So, with some financial help from her, us and 2 others moved into a teeny little vacation home. It was all fine and dandy, save for the amount of stress that comes with living with your SO.

I got a job after a few weeks delivering pizzas. My buddy didn't get one for almost a month. We were days away from having to leave because we couldn't afford rent. He managed to come up with enough for rent (god knows how), and we stayed for another month.

So just over one week ago, my girlfriend finally loses it. She says she's become possessed by this demon mentioned before, and starts cutting herself.
So what kind of position does that leave me in?

I had to call the police. They sent 6 officers (yes. SIX.) to come and get her. They took her into the psych ward in the nearest city and I haven't spoken to her since.
So I guess we're broken up. I mean, her family won't let me ever speak to her again (being as I put their little family secret in the limelight. Apparently, this has actually been going on for 7 years. SEVEN. FUCKING. YEARS.). Anyway, her family came to move her stuff out of the house the next day. Yes, it was truly awful.


So that was how my week STARTED.
Next off - I find out I'm being kicked out of my current house May 1st. Awesome. I can't find a goddamn place to live in this town, because nobody likes 20 year olds.
We finally found a really nice, affordable place in a great neighborhood. We got to view it, and the current tenants were really nice.
So we get to Skype with the landlord. She laughs as soon as she sees us. Asks us how old we are. We tell her 20. She tells us to essentially fuck ourselves. Awesome.
So apparently paying taxes, working full-time and owning a vehicle does NOT make you an adult. Just a child.
So in one month I'm homeless. I'm almost broke, and I don't want to go back home if this doesn't work out.
Bottom line, I'm fucked if I don't find a place in the next 33 days.

So tonight, I'm going to get really, really, irresponsibly drunk. Once that's out of my system, hopefully I'll regain my faith in myself, and make this all happen.

TL:DR.
girlfriend went crazy, we broke up, and nobody likes 20-year olds.