Wondering...

You know how some days, a song comes on and it just makes you stop and think for a while whilst it plays?
That was today.

I recently picked up a copy of the book "The Game". It's a book about picking up women.
Yup. That's right. I don't know what I'm doing right now. Who am I becoming? I'm a salesman now, and possibly an aspiring pickup artist.

And my faith?
non-existent. Yeah, that's probably not a good thing. I honestly thought this time things would be different. Guess not.

So, why am I blogging once again? I dunno. Probably cause I'm depressed, but I don't want to tell anyone.

There's this girl. Who will be for the period of time now called "Susan". Me and her met about 3 years ago camping. At the time, we just hung out a little bit, you know, innocently. We never saw each other outside of camping, but we kept in contact occasionally via email.
We saw each other every year we went camping. And we were always both very excited about it. It was always nice to see her, but we both knew that nothing could happen.
Now I live on my own, I'm a lot more... outgoing now. Not to mention I had a bit of a makeover. I'd say I went up at least 1.5 on the hot scale. Probably.

Either way, we're both dating age now, and we've been trying to set up a date for a while. Well, I have anyway. Course, every time we're about to have it either she gives me an excuse or I fuck it up.

Finally, I decided it was the last straw. "This is the last time she'll say no." I said to myself. "After this, I won't give her another chance."
Guess what?
She said no.

4 hours later I get a text message from her saying she's sorry and feels bad and she asks ME out.
Fuck sakes.

I am now in the midst of a conversation with her about why I should actually go out with her. So far, not so good. She's just guilt-tripping me.

Why won't I just say yes? Before I continue, you need to realize that this girl is a SOLID 9.5. I mean like I would not hesitate to take her down. But she's a christian. She has morals. So what does that mean? That this might be an actual relationship. Which I might not mind, but she's trying to take control.
That's why she's suddenly asking me out. I'm 90% sure. And until she says she's not, I'm not going out with her. I know that's stupid, but it's the truth.


On the plus side - I got a girl's number 2 days ago. Also quite a babe. We're going out for coffee or something this weekend. Once she's done her midterms we'll organize something.

And chances are pretty good that I'll be getting something out of that.

Why am I going to try this? Obviously I don't need it. But hell, it's all part of the game.

EDIT: the girl "susan" in this post is the one mentioned in the previous one. The really beautiful one.