In that dream, I was somebody else.
My whole life behind me was nothing more than a memory. A shadow. Something that shaped me, but would never find me again.
I always believed people could change. I thought that was real. I thought you could really change who you are.
Maybe you can. Maybe if you try hard enough.
But I've been brainwashed.
I can't do anything more than try to progress myself.
I can't enjoy the time I'm having right now, because money is so tight.
I thought my dream was to move to the mountains. I thought that out here I would make so many good friends. I thought I could be someone else. I thought I could sleep around and never have it bite me in the ass.
Oh right. This is a small town. Wow. that wasn't thought out very well.
Every time I do something. Every time I show my face, someone sees. Someone is always watching me, because, let's face it, that's all there is to do.
I think I've realized that there's nothing left for me here.
Maybe that's the stress talking. Maybe I'm just down on myself.
But when you get in a car accident and it royally FUCKS you over, and you're out of work, what do you think?
What the fuck am I supposed to think?
I have a chance here to start over.
I can collect the insurance money and live without a car for a while.
I know I can, but then I lose my second job.
I love delivering pizzas. But in order to do that, I HAVE to buy a car. I need to dish out money again, and hope to the sweet God above that it runs properly. I have to fist-fight my insurance company to get the money for my car. I've been fighting all month. I have nothing to show. I'm tired. I'm weary.
I've been playing video games for hours and hours on end. Because if I don't do that, I drink.
I'm drinking my money away. I'm drinking my chances of pulling out of this away.
So I'm inside all day.
I spend $700 a month so I can set up my computer in a mediocre condo room and play video games.
No, this is not my dream. This was never my dream.
So come November, do I stay, or do I try to start over again?
I could move to the city. It's only an hour away. I have friends there. I have family.
There's opportunity. There's a second chance.
So why don't I take it?
Maybe it's time to go again. Maybe, for the 6th time in 2 years, it's time to pack up and move out.
I won't be far away though. I can always come back.
But this place isn't for me.
This place was for the me I wanted to be.
Not the me that I really am.
Monday, 21 July 2014
Saturday, 29 March 2014
What a fucking week
I feel as though this needs to be shared. Why? I don't know.
So this week started out with my ex-girlfriend going crazy.
BACKSTORY
So I finally meet a really nice girl. We have a lot in common. Our up-bringing, parental views, religious views, etc. Like we had a LOT in common (more than I mentioned). We hooked up a few times, then it started to get serious.
We had a date, and it went really nicely, so we decided to make it official.
Few weeks in, we went back to Saskatchewan for a week. Stayed at my buddy's house, chilled out, met the parents. Everything was great!
Too great.
So she had some psychological issues. She said she had a demon following her around. Every once in a while, it would "attack" her. She would get really shaky and freak out a little bit. Nothing too horrendous. She was always okay once I talked to her and comforted her for a bit.
Anyways, back to the story.
So on this trip to Saskatchewan, we dropped the L-bomb. That should have been a red flag. We were only weeks in. But at the time, we were 110% sure we were in love!
We talked about moving in together some day. Unfortunately, that day was fast approaching.
Not even 2 weeks after we came back, I quit my job, and with it, left my residence. It was a bad call. I didn't have anything lined up, didn't have any money, and didn't have a job lined up.
But we made it through. The day before I was kicked out, we managed to line up a place.
So, with some financial help from her, us and 2 others moved into a teeny little vacation home. It was all fine and dandy, save for the amount of stress that comes with living with your SO.
I got a job after a few weeks delivering pizzas. My buddy didn't get one for almost a month. We were days away from having to leave because we couldn't afford rent. He managed to come up with enough for rent (god knows how), and we stayed for another month.
So just over one week ago, my girlfriend finally loses it. She says she's become possessed by this demon mentioned before, and starts cutting herself.
So what kind of position does that leave me in?
I had to call the police. They sent 6 officers (yes. SIX.) to come and get her. They took her into the psych ward in the nearest city and I haven't spoken to her since.
So I guess we're broken up. I mean, her family won't let me ever speak to her again (being as I put their little family secret in the limelight. Apparently, this has actually been going on for 7 years. SEVEN. FUCKING. YEARS.). Anyway, her family came to move her stuff out of the house the next day. Yes, it was truly awful.
So that was how my week STARTED.
Next off - I find out I'm being kicked out of my current house May 1st. Awesome. I can't find a goddamn place to live in this town, because nobody likes 20 year olds.
We finally found a really nice, affordable place in a great neighborhood. We got to view it, and the current tenants were really nice.
So we get to Skype with the landlord. She laughs as soon as she sees us. Asks us how old we are. We tell her 20. She tells us to essentially fuck ourselves. Awesome.
So apparently paying taxes, working full-time and owning a vehicle does NOT make you an adult. Just a child.
So in one month I'm homeless. I'm almost broke, and I don't want to go back home if this doesn't work out.
Bottom line, I'm fucked if I don't find a place in the next 33 days.
So tonight, I'm going to get really, really, irresponsibly drunk. Once that's out of my system, hopefully I'll regain my faith in myself, and make this all happen.
TL:DR.
girlfriend went crazy, we broke up, and nobody likes 20-year olds.
So this week started out with my ex-girlfriend going crazy.
BACKSTORY
So I finally meet a really nice girl. We have a lot in common. Our up-bringing, parental views, religious views, etc. Like we had a LOT in common (more than I mentioned). We hooked up a few times, then it started to get serious.
We had a date, and it went really nicely, so we decided to make it official.
Few weeks in, we went back to Saskatchewan for a week. Stayed at my buddy's house, chilled out, met the parents. Everything was great!
Too great.
So she had some psychological issues. She said she had a demon following her around. Every once in a while, it would "attack" her. She would get really shaky and freak out a little bit. Nothing too horrendous. She was always okay once I talked to her and comforted her for a bit.
Anyways, back to the story.
So on this trip to Saskatchewan, we dropped the L-bomb. That should have been a red flag. We were only weeks in. But at the time, we were 110% sure we were in love!
We talked about moving in together some day. Unfortunately, that day was fast approaching.
Not even 2 weeks after we came back, I quit my job, and with it, left my residence. It was a bad call. I didn't have anything lined up, didn't have any money, and didn't have a job lined up.
But we made it through. The day before I was kicked out, we managed to line up a place.
So, with some financial help from her, us and 2 others moved into a teeny little vacation home. It was all fine and dandy, save for the amount of stress that comes with living with your SO.
I got a job after a few weeks delivering pizzas. My buddy didn't get one for almost a month. We were days away from having to leave because we couldn't afford rent. He managed to come up with enough for rent (god knows how), and we stayed for another month.
So just over one week ago, my girlfriend finally loses it. She says she's become possessed by this demon mentioned before, and starts cutting herself.
So what kind of position does that leave me in?
I had to call the police. They sent 6 officers (yes. SIX.) to come and get her. They took her into the psych ward in the nearest city and I haven't spoken to her since.
So I guess we're broken up. I mean, her family won't let me ever speak to her again (being as I put their little family secret in the limelight. Apparently, this has actually been going on for 7 years. SEVEN. FUCKING. YEARS.). Anyway, her family came to move her stuff out of the house the next day. Yes, it was truly awful.
So that was how my week STARTED.
Next off - I find out I'm being kicked out of my current house May 1st. Awesome. I can't find a goddamn place to live in this town, because nobody likes 20 year olds.
We finally found a really nice, affordable place in a great neighborhood. We got to view it, and the current tenants were really nice.
So we get to Skype with the landlord. She laughs as soon as she sees us. Asks us how old we are. We tell her 20. She tells us to essentially fuck ourselves. Awesome.
So apparently paying taxes, working full-time and owning a vehicle does NOT make you an adult. Just a child.
So in one month I'm homeless. I'm almost broke, and I don't want to go back home if this doesn't work out.
Bottom line, I'm fucked if I don't find a place in the next 33 days.
So tonight, I'm going to get really, really, irresponsibly drunk. Once that's out of my system, hopefully I'll regain my faith in myself, and make this all happen.
TL:DR.
girlfriend went crazy, we broke up, and nobody likes 20-year olds.
Friday, 13 December 2013
Normality
I constantly ask myself one question:
why can't my life just be normal?
Then I realize that maybe normal doesn't actually exist.
When you live in a ski resort, you have absolutely no chance of having a normal life.
Yes, a lot of things have passed since my last post.
First and foremost, I managed to get a girlfriend, cheat on said girlfriend, become best friends with said girl who I cheated with, sleep with said girl again, and then last night end up sharing a bed with her. But not have sex. Because her roommate was home. What is this?
Also I managed to quit smoking, and sleep with more girls than I'm comfortable with.
Well... Not sleep. I can't do that anymore.
When I have kids, I know they're going to want to do exactly the same things I'm doing right now. And I'm going to stop them.
Why?
Cause I want them to sleep at night.
So my life isn't normal.
Or is it?
Honestly, I'm a 19-year old who lives in the easiest place to get laid. Ever.
Okay not quite the easiest, but it's pretty damn close.
I lost my virginity less than one year ago. Since then, I've slept with 6 different women. SIX.
So why can't I sleep?
That, the fact that I hate my job, the fact that I lie about my age to get laid, and the fact that I'm a fucking adult. Adults don't sleep. I hate being an adult.
On and I turn 20 in one week. NO. MORE. TEENS. why? Why you do dis?
But there is good news! I finally quit smoking.
course I went and bought a pack last night. God am I stupid.
Let's see what 2014 can offer....
why can't my life just be normal?
Then I realize that maybe normal doesn't actually exist.
When you live in a ski resort, you have absolutely no chance of having a normal life.
Yes, a lot of things have passed since my last post.
First and foremost, I managed to get a girlfriend, cheat on said girlfriend, become best friends with said girl who I cheated with, sleep with said girl again, and then last night end up sharing a bed with her. But not have sex. Because her roommate was home. What is this?
Also I managed to quit smoking, and sleep with more girls than I'm comfortable with.
Well... Not sleep. I can't do that anymore.
When I have kids, I know they're going to want to do exactly the same things I'm doing right now. And I'm going to stop them.
Why?
Cause I want them to sleep at night.
So my life isn't normal.
Or is it?
Honestly, I'm a 19-year old who lives in the easiest place to get laid. Ever.
Okay not quite the easiest, but it's pretty damn close.
I lost my virginity less than one year ago. Since then, I've slept with 6 different women. SIX.
So why can't I sleep?
That, the fact that I hate my job, the fact that I lie about my age to get laid, and the fact that I'm a fucking adult. Adults don't sleep. I hate being an adult.
On and I turn 20 in one week. NO. MORE. TEENS. why? Why you do dis?
But there is good news! I finally quit smoking.
course I went and bought a pack last night. God am I stupid.
Let's see what 2014 can offer....
Friday, 25 October 2013
Teenager no more
Wow. Where do I even begin?
Oh God. So let's start with Brenna. What happened to her? I went to her grad as her friend's escort, got very drunk, and pissed of Brenna a lot. Like a LOT.
Next thing I know, I get a text about 2 months ago telling me about how Brenna gets drunk all the time now.
HA! Bitch.
So let's move on.
What happened since my last post?
Well, I quit my job, left the church, and moved top Banff.
Yes, Banff. Party central.
In my previous posts I talked about how I drank too much. Well, it's got nothing on what I do now. Jaysus. So that's my life now. Drinking. Oh, I also started smoking cigarettes. And weed.
Life has never been better than it is out here, though. I have an awesome group of friends, I have an opportunity to be someone that I've never been before, and I have an opportunity to try all the things I missed out on earlier in life. Like picking up girls at the bar, getting high, and all kinda of wonderful things.
But as it turns out, I've also discovered my greatest weakness out here.
Alcohol and women. Separately, fine. Together? Not okay.
I managed to get a really good girlfriend out here, and life was good.
What did I do?
I cheated on her.
I think there's a special place in hell reserved for people like me. But you know what? At least it's warm there.
So yeah, I've changed. A lot. Cage an animal for long enough and you create a monster.
Is it my parent's fault?
Maybe.
I mean, I'm not saying it's not.
Fuck am I fucked up right now. This whole post makes no sense. Burnt out, still half-drunk and I need a cigarette. What a day.
The good news is that I have today and the next 2 days off work though!
Oh God. So let's start with Brenna. What happened to her? I went to her grad as her friend's escort, got very drunk, and pissed of Brenna a lot. Like a LOT.
Next thing I know, I get a text about 2 months ago telling me about how Brenna gets drunk all the time now.
HA! Bitch.
So let's move on.
What happened since my last post?
Well, I quit my job, left the church, and moved top Banff.
Yes, Banff. Party central.
In my previous posts I talked about how I drank too much. Well, it's got nothing on what I do now. Jaysus. So that's my life now. Drinking. Oh, I also started smoking cigarettes. And weed.
Life has never been better than it is out here, though. I have an awesome group of friends, I have an opportunity to be someone that I've never been before, and I have an opportunity to try all the things I missed out on earlier in life. Like picking up girls at the bar, getting high, and all kinda of wonderful things.
But as it turns out, I've also discovered my greatest weakness out here.
Alcohol and women. Separately, fine. Together? Not okay.
I managed to get a really good girlfriend out here, and life was good.
What did I do?
I cheated on her.
I think there's a special place in hell reserved for people like me. But you know what? At least it's warm there.
So yeah, I've changed. A lot. Cage an animal for long enough and you create a monster.
Is it my parent's fault?
Maybe.
I mean, I'm not saying it's not.
Fuck am I fucked up right now. This whole post makes no sense. Burnt out, still half-drunk and I need a cigarette. What a day.
The good news is that I have today and the next 2 days off work though!
Monday, 25 February 2013
Update!
Okay... So let's go back.
Way back. To Brenna.
Who I actually had a really good date with! About a month ago. And never told you about it.
Here's the thing - she lives about an hour away. I had to drive out, pick her up, take her out, and bring her back home at like 1am. It was tons of fun! And I managed to sneak a goodnight kiss out of her!
Everything was looking so grand!
And then... the expectations came back.
Long story short, we are currently taking a break (which I decided on, and I don't want to have anything to do with her until she's been on her own for a few months).
So I'm back to drinking, and I'm looking into other options.
Yes, there is yet another girl involved in this story.
She's chill, a lot of fun, and my roomates really like her.
I brought her home last weekend and she freaking played cards with us! It was awesome. She also slept over. But nothing really happened. I'm still trying to decide if I like this girl. Cause to be honest, I don't want to use her. She doesn't deserve that.
That's enough for tonight. I have a hell of a headache. I'll update again some day...
Way back. To Brenna.
Who I actually had a really good date with! About a month ago. And never told you about it.
Here's the thing - she lives about an hour away. I had to drive out, pick her up, take her out, and bring her back home at like 1am. It was tons of fun! And I managed to sneak a goodnight kiss out of her!
Everything was looking so grand!
And then... the expectations came back.
Long story short, we are currently taking a break (which I decided on, and I don't want to have anything to do with her until she's been on her own for a few months).
So I'm back to drinking, and I'm looking into other options.
Yes, there is yet another girl involved in this story.
She's chill, a lot of fun, and my roomates really like her.
I brought her home last weekend and she freaking played cards with us! It was awesome. She also slept over. But nothing really happened. I'm still trying to decide if I like this girl. Cause to be honest, I don't want to use her. She doesn't deserve that.
That's enough for tonight. I have a hell of a headache. I'll update again some day...
Tuesday, 8 January 2013
Standing up
Well that's what she did anyway.
She stood up.
Stood me up, anyway. I don't even know why I've been giving her a fake name this whole time. her name is Brenna. She told me "She was in a fight with her parents and... she's confused and doesn't wanna like anyone and..." BULLSHIT!
But I'm all done now. I told her when she gets her shit straight she can come talk to me and buy me dinner. (Not necessarily in those words)
Either way, we're all done. And I still haven't drank anything. And honestly, I feel quite good! I'm done with her and I can move on to greater things!
Like other women!
Yeah okay that's shallow. But now that I know I'm fucking just DONE with trying to date someone who's that high-maintenance, I can have more fun!
...And creep out my roomates a little more...
We'll see. I'm hanging out with someone this weekend. Maybe it'll turn into one of those "ice cream dates" again.
God I'm sick
She stood up.
Stood me up, anyway. I don't even know why I've been giving her a fake name this whole time. her name is Brenna. She told me "She was in a fight with her parents and... she's confused and doesn't wanna like anyone and..." BULLSHIT!
But I'm all done now. I told her when she gets her shit straight she can come talk to me and buy me dinner. (Not necessarily in those words)
Either way, we're all done. And I still haven't drank anything. And honestly, I feel quite good! I'm done with her and I can move on to greater things!
Like other women!
Yeah okay that's shallow. But now that I know I'm fucking just DONE with trying to date someone who's that high-maintenance, I can have more fun!
...And creep out my roomates a little more...
We'll see. I'm hanging out with someone this weekend. Maybe it'll turn into one of those "ice cream dates" again.
God I'm sick
Thursday, 3 January 2013
God Damn Women
I hate these things.
Women.
Why do you have to go and confuzzle me? C'mon!
So this Susan chick (I think that's what I called her) decides that she doesn't like drinking. Cool. I don't like your periods, but I'm not asking you to take FUCKING BIRTH CONTROL.
So what happens? Just to fucking communicate with this broad, I have to stop drinking. FINE. I'll fucking spend my new years with Coffee. Thanks a lot.
Now don't get me wrong, I know I drink too much. And it's definitely healthy for me to stop. At least for a little bit. But if you can't even see me as the same person because I have ONE habit that you think is bad? Bitch please, you're not worth my time.
So at this moment I'm talking to her and this other girl that I know, who is giving me "advice". Which is basically defending Susan. Fuck. I know she doesn't like drinking either, but I want legitimate girl advice. Not "Stop drinking Steve, Jesus loves you."
Damn you females!
"I can't be around people who drink."
She fucking said that. I can't believe she fucking said that. Unreal.
So because I have one bad habit, you're going to put aside everything we've learned about each other and generalize me as a drunk? Wooooooow. That's not pretentious.
Now, don't get me wrong. I wasn't born yesterday. I know that she is either trying to:
A) Find a reason to drop our "relationship". or
B) Bend me around her little fucking pinky finger.
So. She has 2 days. TWO. GODDAMN DAYS.
And if she decides to find an excuse to not go on our 2-month planned date, good. That saves me effort and money.
If she does? Then I can decide what the fuck she's trying to do.
Oh, also, I haven't touched alcohol since she asked me not to. And she doesn't know that yet. Once she can wrap her head around the fact that it doesn't change who I am as a person, then I will tell her I've kept to my word.
If she can't wrap her head around that fact - goodbye, Susan. Better luck next time.
Women.
Why do you have to go and confuzzle me? C'mon!
So this Susan chick (I think that's what I called her) decides that she doesn't like drinking. Cool. I don't like your periods, but I'm not asking you to take FUCKING BIRTH CONTROL.
So what happens? Just to fucking communicate with this broad, I have to stop drinking. FINE. I'll fucking spend my new years with Coffee. Thanks a lot.
Now don't get me wrong, I know I drink too much. And it's definitely healthy for me to stop. At least for a little bit. But if you can't even see me as the same person because I have ONE habit that you think is bad? Bitch please, you're not worth my time.
So at this moment I'm talking to her and this other girl that I know, who is giving me "advice". Which is basically defending Susan. Fuck. I know she doesn't like drinking either, but I want legitimate girl advice. Not "Stop drinking Steve, Jesus loves you."
Damn you females!
"I can't be around people who drink."
She fucking said that. I can't believe she fucking said that. Unreal.
So because I have one bad habit, you're going to put aside everything we've learned about each other and generalize me as a drunk? Wooooooow. That's not pretentious.
Now, don't get me wrong. I wasn't born yesterday. I know that she is either trying to:
A) Find a reason to drop our "relationship". or
B) Bend me around her little fucking pinky finger.
So. She has 2 days. TWO. GODDAMN DAYS.
And if she decides to find an excuse to not go on our 2-month planned date, good. That saves me effort and money.
If she does? Then I can decide what the fuck she's trying to do.
Oh, also, I haven't touched alcohol since she asked me not to. And she doesn't know that yet. Once she can wrap her head around the fact that it doesn't change who I am as a person, then I will tell her I've kept to my word.
If she can't wrap her head around that fact - goodbye, Susan. Better luck next time.
Saturday, 29 December 2012
Drunk Post
I'll probably shoot myself tomorrow but....
Hell. I'll make it quick.
I went out tonight, it was awesome! Had quite a few drinks, danced, and watched my brother fail.
Yup. We went out with his friend (who is extremely hot). Me and her friend decided that we should hook them up. What happens? My brother says he's too drunk to talk to her.
WTF?
Dude. That's why we drink.
So where did that leave me? Trying to keep all the guys off of her so that he could talk to her.
Did he?
Absolutely fucking not.
I had to play wingman with a FUCKING DUDE!
Jesus bro.
But whatever. He'll learn. We'll teach him.
And good news is that she didn't fuck anyone, and he had his arm around her at the end of the night.
Does that mean anything?
No.
But it is good news.
Off to bed now. I'll speak of my drunken encounter next time.
Hell. I'll make it quick.
I went out tonight, it was awesome! Had quite a few drinks, danced, and watched my brother fail.
Yup. We went out with his friend (who is extremely hot). Me and her friend decided that we should hook them up. What happens? My brother says he's too drunk to talk to her.
WTF?
Dude. That's why we drink.
So where did that leave me? Trying to keep all the guys off of her so that he could talk to her.
Did he?
Absolutely fucking not.
I had to play wingman with a FUCKING DUDE!
Jesus bro.
But whatever. He'll learn. We'll teach him.
And good news is that she didn't fuck anyone, and he had his arm around her at the end of the night.
Does that mean anything?
No.
But it is good news.
Off to bed now. I'll speak of my drunken encounter next time.
Monday, 17 December 2012
Wine
Just having some wine, and decided it was time for an update.
I haven't said much lately. I guess there isn't a whole lot of development to talk about, but I'll try to scrounge something up.
I suppose the biggest thing is that I'm becoming a top leader in the office. I'm working my way up. My boss likes me. A lot. And my leader loves me. In fact, I just led 2 successful roadtrips, which resulted in my leader becoming an assistant manager.
So I suppose that's something.
So yeah. We have an assistant manager in the office. What does that mean? He's going to become an owner, and soon. Also that we will hopefully be getting a new campaign!
Which is great, because we literally can't grow our team any more. Maybe 1 more guy. maybe.
So what does that mean for me?
I can't move up. Without building a team, I actually can't move anywhere. I want to be assistant manager by August.
Now my leader say he wants me there in the next 3 months.
Okay, why don't you get us a fucking new campaign then?
Also, it turns out getting there by august wouldn't be a record. Is that going to stop me? Absolutely not. Fuck records. I'm still going hard.
And once we get that new campaign, BOOM. That's it! I'm there.
So when I've begun building my team, I will be posting here more often. Not that you care, mind you. Being as you don't actually read this crap. Ah well.
Now for the good part - my woman issues.
We finally had a date! Me and "Susan". It was kind of a date anyway. We went snowboarding, with 2 other people.
BUT - we went fucking snowboarding. And we ended up cuddling during a movie afterwards. Now of course she tells me that she didn't want to and blah blah blah. But if she didn't want to, it wouldn't have happened. Simple as that.
So yeah, this is definitely going somewhere.
And on the way back from roadtrip #2, we talked to each other about the standards we had for dating. Turns out she's looking for... Well... me.
Fuck.
Does she know it yet? No.
Do I know it? Yes.
So what's going down? Is this legit? Is it gonna be serious?
Fuck. I don't need this right now.
Am I absolutely terrified of screwing it up? Yes. Yes I am.
And I don't scare easily,
I haven't said much lately. I guess there isn't a whole lot of development to talk about, but I'll try to scrounge something up.
I suppose the biggest thing is that I'm becoming a top leader in the office. I'm working my way up. My boss likes me. A lot. And my leader loves me. In fact, I just led 2 successful roadtrips, which resulted in my leader becoming an assistant manager.
So I suppose that's something.
So yeah. We have an assistant manager in the office. What does that mean? He's going to become an owner, and soon. Also that we will hopefully be getting a new campaign!
Which is great, because we literally can't grow our team any more. Maybe 1 more guy. maybe.
So what does that mean for me?
I can't move up. Without building a team, I actually can't move anywhere. I want to be assistant manager by August.
Now my leader say he wants me there in the next 3 months.
Okay, why don't you get us a fucking new campaign then?
Also, it turns out getting there by august wouldn't be a record. Is that going to stop me? Absolutely not. Fuck records. I'm still going hard.
And once we get that new campaign, BOOM. That's it! I'm there.
So when I've begun building my team, I will be posting here more often. Not that you care, mind you. Being as you don't actually read this crap. Ah well.
Now for the good part - my woman issues.
We finally had a date! Me and "Susan". It was kind of a date anyway. We went snowboarding, with 2 other people.
BUT - we went fucking snowboarding. And we ended up cuddling during a movie afterwards. Now of course she tells me that she didn't want to and blah blah blah. But if she didn't want to, it wouldn't have happened. Simple as that.
So yeah, this is definitely going somewhere.
And on the way back from roadtrip #2, we talked to each other about the standards we had for dating. Turns out she's looking for... Well... me.
Fuck.
Does she know it yet? No.
Do I know it? Yes.
So what's going down? Is this legit? Is it gonna be serious?
Fuck. I don't need this right now.
Am I absolutely terrified of screwing it up? Yes. Yes I am.
And I don't scare easily,
Tuesday, 27 November 2012
Plenty Of Fish
Good Lord.
I just joined Plenty Of Fish.com
Can't decide if I'm bored or desperate at this point.
Like honestly, what are the chances of someone who even comes remotely up to my standards just randomly replying to my... profile. Or whatever the fuck it is.
My standards have definitely gotten higher.
BUT. I think rightly so.
I've moved up, I won't settle for anything less than I deserve. I know I may not be the MOST attractive guy on the planet. But I think I'm pretty damn close.
Anyway, that's not the point. Well, yes it is.
But I should really just get out and meet someone myself. This is just pathetic.
Oh well. Whatever.
In other news - I'm moving up in the office. I'm leading a road trip next week. The other 2 members on the trip are both older, more experienced, and perform better than me.
But I'm leading it!
I think my boss sees something in me that I don't. Well, maybe I see it too...
Either way. I'll get to ownership. Assistant manager by summer! That's the plan.
And it would be a record.
I just joined Plenty Of Fish.com
Can't decide if I'm bored or desperate at this point.
Like honestly, what are the chances of someone who even comes remotely up to my standards just randomly replying to my... profile. Or whatever the fuck it is.
My standards have definitely gotten higher.
BUT. I think rightly so.
I've moved up, I won't settle for anything less than I deserve. I know I may not be the MOST attractive guy on the planet. But I think I'm pretty damn close.
Anyway, that's not the point. Well, yes it is.
But I should really just get out and meet someone myself. This is just pathetic.
Oh well. Whatever.
In other news - I'm moving up in the office. I'm leading a road trip next week. The other 2 members on the trip are both older, more experienced, and perform better than me.
But I'm leading it!
I think my boss sees something in me that I don't. Well, maybe I see it too...
Either way. I'll get to ownership. Assistant manager by summer! That's the plan.
And it would be a record.
Wednesday, 14 November 2012
Professionalism
How hard is it to be professional?
I mean, I realize that moving from Superstore to business can't be easy, but come on.
So we got a new girl in the office today. Just a second interview - a day of observation. we call it.
Basically a job shadow.
So she's sitting in the lobby and we all come out of our morning meeting. There are a couple people there, so we greet them as usual.
The second I greet her she grips my hand (with both of hers I think) and gets that "preteen girl" look.
Oh God.
Didn't stop there though. Me, my leader, and her all went out of town. About an hour away. She was his interview that day. The whole way up she was just... flirty. Ugh I dunno how to describe it.
Either way, she was flirty. But I only had to put up with her for about an hour.
Or so I thought...
Turns out my leader decided to quit a bit early. Around 2:30 rather than 5. So we all met up, ran to the bank, and grabbed a late lunch.
Yay. I got to see her again...
Before I continue, you need to realize that this girl reminds me of every single one of my exes. It's ridiculous. I didn't even think it was possible!!
It got worse at lunch. She likes to use the expression "tackle" for her problems. And even her not problems. Anyway I don't remember the whole thing but basically it came down to me saying "You can't tackle me."
Her response: "too bad".
And then she proceeded to make more comments like that and hit me on the arm. I did my best to avoid it and keep it professional. It didn't work. She got worse and worse.
But it wasn't all bad!
I closed 2 accounts today. $420 bucks. Guaranteed $410 tomorrow, and it's only Thursday!
So I got lots of time!
I mean, I realize that moving from Superstore to business can't be easy, but come on.
So we got a new girl in the office today. Just a second interview - a day of observation. we call it.
Basically a job shadow.
So she's sitting in the lobby and we all come out of our morning meeting. There are a couple people there, so we greet them as usual.
The second I greet her she grips my hand (with both of hers I think) and gets that "preteen girl" look.
Oh God.
Didn't stop there though. Me, my leader, and her all went out of town. About an hour away. She was his interview that day. The whole way up she was just... flirty. Ugh I dunno how to describe it.
Either way, she was flirty. But I only had to put up with her for about an hour.
Or so I thought...
Turns out my leader decided to quit a bit early. Around 2:30 rather than 5. So we all met up, ran to the bank, and grabbed a late lunch.
Yay. I got to see her again...
Before I continue, you need to realize that this girl reminds me of every single one of my exes. It's ridiculous. I didn't even think it was possible!!
It got worse at lunch. She likes to use the expression "tackle" for her problems. And even her not problems. Anyway I don't remember the whole thing but basically it came down to me saying "You can't tackle me."
Her response: "too bad".
And then she proceeded to make more comments like that and hit me on the arm. I did my best to avoid it and keep it professional. It didn't work. She got worse and worse.
But it wasn't all bad!
I closed 2 accounts today. $420 bucks. Guaranteed $410 tomorrow, and it's only Thursday!
So I got lots of time!
Saturday, 10 November 2012
Winter Roads
Damn. What a week.
So we took a 10-hour drive out of province for a company trip. We were told it was going to be juicy.
Long story short, everyone was using a shitty system that we couldn't replace for them. Because it has a non-cancellable contract.
So we couldn't switch many people.
I mean, some people used standard POS systems (debit machines), so we could switch those ones. But they were few and far apart.
Anyway, I came home with about $200-$250 profit. Not so great.
BUT. at least I made some cash!
So the trip up was just dandy. No snow, nothing. There was one patch of ice.
The trip back was hell on earth.
We had to go through Edmonton, which had over a foot of snow. And ice. Yeah, not so much fun.
And did I mention we only had 1 headlight? And of course we didn't notice til AFTER we got onto the highway away from anywhere that sells them.
But we're alive!
In total it was about a 21 hour drive there and back.
I drove 13 hours.
My co-worker, (the only other one who can drive) drove about 8.
So that pissed me off a little. But we were testing out a car that I might buy from my brother.
It took about 100 litres to go 1000 kms. Not too shabby. So I'll probably buy it.
And another development on me and this girl.
We were talking about our cars, and how mine was super pimpin' (It's a Buick Park Avenue). We then got onto the topic of back seats, and how mine was really roomy. So we made some suggestive comments and shit, you know, the usual.
But were they just jokes? It's pretty hard to tell over text. But I'm quite certain there was more to this than just words.
But who knows? We rarely see each other, and she keeps standing me up. So maybe some day I'll get to talk to her in person, alone, for more than 10 minutes. Maybe even tomorrow! I'm sure I'll blog about it.
So one last thing -
All my roomates are gone. All of them. So it's pretty lonely here. I'm getting a bit sad. Not even motivated enough to play a game. So I'll be wasting my evening on Omegle. Again.
Fuck sakes.
So we took a 10-hour drive out of province for a company trip. We were told it was going to be juicy.
Long story short, everyone was using a shitty system that we couldn't replace for them. Because it has a non-cancellable contract.
So we couldn't switch many people.
I mean, some people used standard POS systems (debit machines), so we could switch those ones. But they were few and far apart.
Anyway, I came home with about $200-$250 profit. Not so great.
BUT. at least I made some cash!
So the trip up was just dandy. No snow, nothing. There was one patch of ice.
The trip back was hell on earth.
We had to go through Edmonton, which had over a foot of snow. And ice. Yeah, not so much fun.
And did I mention we only had 1 headlight? And of course we didn't notice til AFTER we got onto the highway away from anywhere that sells them.
But we're alive!
In total it was about a 21 hour drive there and back.
I drove 13 hours.
My co-worker, (the only other one who can drive) drove about 8.
So that pissed me off a little. But we were testing out a car that I might buy from my brother.
It took about 100 litres to go 1000 kms. Not too shabby. So I'll probably buy it.
And another development on me and this girl.
We were talking about our cars, and how mine was super pimpin' (It's a Buick Park Avenue). We then got onto the topic of back seats, and how mine was really roomy. So we made some suggestive comments and shit, you know, the usual.
But were they just jokes? It's pretty hard to tell over text. But I'm quite certain there was more to this than just words.
But who knows? We rarely see each other, and she keeps standing me up. So maybe some day I'll get to talk to her in person, alone, for more than 10 minutes. Maybe even tomorrow! I'm sure I'll blog about it.
So one last thing -
All my roomates are gone. All of them. So it's pretty lonely here. I'm getting a bit sad. Not even motivated enough to play a game. So I'll be wasting my evening on Omegle. Again.
Fuck sakes.
Monday, 29 October 2012
Wondering...
You know how some days, a song comes on and it just makes you stop and think for a while whilst it plays?
That was today.
I recently picked up a copy of the book "The Game". It's a book about picking up women.
Yup. That's right. I don't know what I'm doing right now. Who am I becoming? I'm a salesman now, and possibly an aspiring pickup artist.
And my faith?
non-existent. Yeah, that's probably not a good thing. I honestly thought this time things would be different. Guess not.
So, why am I blogging once again? I dunno. Probably cause I'm depressed, but I don't want to tell anyone.
There's this girl. Who will be for the period of time now called "Susan". Me and her met about 3 years ago camping. At the time, we just hung out a little bit, you know, innocently. We never saw each other outside of camping, but we kept in contact occasionally via email.
We saw each other every year we went camping. And we were always both very excited about it. It was always nice to see her, but we both knew that nothing could happen.
Now I live on my own, I'm a lot more... outgoing now. Not to mention I had a bit of a makeover. I'd say I went up at least 1.5 on the hot scale. Probably.
Either way, we're both dating age now, and we've been trying to set up a date for a while. Well, I have anyway. Course, every time we're about to have it either she gives me an excuse or I fuck it up.
Finally, I decided it was the last straw. "This is the last time she'll say no." I said to myself. "After this, I won't give her another chance."
Guess what?
She said no.
4 hours later I get a text message from her saying she's sorry and feels bad and she asks ME out.
Fuck sakes.
I am now in the midst of a conversation with her about why I should actually go out with her. So far, not so good. She's just guilt-tripping me.
Why won't I just say yes? Before I continue, you need to realize that this girl is a SOLID 9.5. I mean like I would not hesitate to take her down. But she's a christian. She has morals. So what does that mean? That this might be an actual relationship. Which I might not mind, but she's trying to take control.
That's why she's suddenly asking me out. I'm 90% sure. And until she says she's not, I'm not going out with her. I know that's stupid, but it's the truth.
On the plus side - I got a girl's number 2 days ago. Also quite a babe. We're going out for coffee or something this weekend. Once she's done her midterms we'll organize something.
And chances are pretty good that I'll be getting something out of that.
Why am I going to try this? Obviously I don't need it. But hell, it's all part of the game.
EDIT: the girl "susan" in this post is the one mentioned in the previous one. The really beautiful one.
That was today.
I recently picked up a copy of the book "The Game". It's a book about picking up women.
Yup. That's right. I don't know what I'm doing right now. Who am I becoming? I'm a salesman now, and possibly an aspiring pickup artist.
And my faith?
non-existent. Yeah, that's probably not a good thing. I honestly thought this time things would be different. Guess not.
So, why am I blogging once again? I dunno. Probably cause I'm depressed, but I don't want to tell anyone.
There's this girl. Who will be for the period of time now called "Susan". Me and her met about 3 years ago camping. At the time, we just hung out a little bit, you know, innocently. We never saw each other outside of camping, but we kept in contact occasionally via email.
We saw each other every year we went camping. And we were always both very excited about it. It was always nice to see her, but we both knew that nothing could happen.
Now I live on my own, I'm a lot more... outgoing now. Not to mention I had a bit of a makeover. I'd say I went up at least 1.5 on the hot scale. Probably.
Either way, we're both dating age now, and we've been trying to set up a date for a while. Well, I have anyway. Course, every time we're about to have it either she gives me an excuse or I fuck it up.
Finally, I decided it was the last straw. "This is the last time she'll say no." I said to myself. "After this, I won't give her another chance."
Guess what?
She said no.
4 hours later I get a text message from her saying she's sorry and feels bad and she asks ME out.
Fuck sakes.
I am now in the midst of a conversation with her about why I should actually go out with her. So far, not so good. She's just guilt-tripping me.
Why won't I just say yes? Before I continue, you need to realize that this girl is a SOLID 9.5. I mean like I would not hesitate to take her down. But she's a christian. She has morals. So what does that mean? That this might be an actual relationship. Which I might not mind, but she's trying to take control.
That's why she's suddenly asking me out. I'm 90% sure. And until she says she's not, I'm not going out with her. I know that's stupid, but it's the truth.
On the plus side - I got a girl's number 2 days ago. Also quite a babe. We're going out for coffee or something this weekend. Once she's done her midterms we'll organize something.
And chances are pretty good that I'll be getting something out of that.
Why am I going to try this? Obviously I don't need it. But hell, it's all part of the game.
EDIT: the girl "susan" in this post is the one mentioned in the previous one. The really beautiful one.
Friday, 12 October 2012
Monday, 10 September 2012
work and home
Okay! so I have a house. It's really nice. A split level, 2-car garage, 5 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, and a great big family to share it with!
Sorta.
Me and 4 other guys are renting it. We're quite blessed. (Or lucky, whichever you prefer).
So I have a job which is straight commission. A sales job. I sell debit machines. It's pretty swell, I really like the atmosphere and the potential it has to offer.
Have I made any money?
No.
Will I?
Yes. Absolutely.
So I have family and friends who are busy telling me "No.... No. Sales job is bad job."
But you know what? I like it! It's a great job! And just cause they can't handle it doesn't mean I can't.
And in 2 years I could be owning my own office! In 5, a series of offices!
Now who can't handle it??
But seriously, putting on a suit and leaving my house every morning... It makes me wish I had a real family.
Like a wife and kids...
I could kiss my wife goodbye every morning and tell her I love her.
I'm kind of a sap. Maybe that's part of growing up.
Or maybe it's just time to actually grow up.
Who knows? All I know is some day, I'll make a great dad.
Sorta.
Me and 4 other guys are renting it. We're quite blessed. (Or lucky, whichever you prefer).
So I have a job which is straight commission. A sales job. I sell debit machines. It's pretty swell, I really like the atmosphere and the potential it has to offer.
Have I made any money?
No.
Will I?
Yes. Absolutely.
So I have family and friends who are busy telling me "No.... No. Sales job is bad job."
But you know what? I like it! It's a great job! And just cause they can't handle it doesn't mean I can't.
And in 2 years I could be owning my own office! In 5, a series of offices!
Now who can't handle it??
But seriously, putting on a suit and leaving my house every morning... It makes me wish I had a real family.
Like a wife and kids...
I could kiss my wife goodbye every morning and tell her I love her.
I'm kind of a sap. Maybe that's part of growing up.
Or maybe it's just time to actually grow up.
Who knows? All I know is some day, I'll make a great dad.
Saturday, 18 August 2012
I'm alive!
Still alive out here! Up here. Whatever. Wherever I am.
I'm on a weekend off. And I have a real job now!
Like a legit job. Kinda. I'm working for a company called Independent Acquisitions. I sell debit machines, and I start next Monday.
SO. I'm employed! That's a start.
Now, an update on my lovely, overly-dramatic life involving women.
She no longer wants to be my friend.
Remember that lovely, awesome, funny, cute and generally adorable girl who was my grad escort?
Turns out she's just like all the others. So that's one less friend.
On the other hand, I feel free without her around. And I have an awesome group of friends now. So instead of just one, I have like... 7. It's awesome.
Seriously though. I'm pretty pissed off, but I'm definitely happier than I was before. I dunno... it's... freeing.
So. My new job consists of 100% commission. And door-to-door sales. So I can handle it. I'm quite confident in my people skills. AND - get this - in like 2 years, I could own my own office! And be making 200 grand a year. YEAH. At the age of 20. Imagine that!
Now, you're probably thinking this is just a pipe dream. Well my boss is 22. And he made it to owner in a year and a half. Who's dreaming now?
Also, me and 4 other guys are renting out a mansion. Seems as though my future is bright. Things are, once again, looking up. For good this time.
Have a good one! Write to ya later!
Steve
I'm on a weekend off. And I have a real job now!
Like a legit job. Kinda. I'm working for a company called Independent Acquisitions. I sell debit machines, and I start next Monday.
SO. I'm employed! That's a start.
Now, an update on my lovely, overly-dramatic life involving women.
She no longer wants to be my friend.
Remember that lovely, awesome, funny, cute and generally adorable girl who was my grad escort?
Turns out she's just like all the others. So that's one less friend.
On the other hand, I feel free without her around. And I have an awesome group of friends now. So instead of just one, I have like... 7. It's awesome.
Seriously though. I'm pretty pissed off, but I'm definitely happier than I was before. I dunno... it's... freeing.
So. My new job consists of 100% commission. And door-to-door sales. So I can handle it. I'm quite confident in my people skills. AND - get this - in like 2 years, I could own my own office! And be making 200 grand a year. YEAH. At the age of 20. Imagine that!
Now, you're probably thinking this is just a pipe dream. Well my boss is 22. And he made it to owner in a year and a half. Who's dreaming now?
Also, me and 4 other guys are renting out a mansion. Seems as though my future is bright. Things are, once again, looking up. For good this time.
Have a good one! Write to ya later!
Steve
Wednesday, 27 June 2012
You Deserve One Last Post...
Well... This is goodbye.
Tomorrow at 11am I leave town. Maybe for good.
I'm off to camp all summer, except one week. I'm considering coming back for that week, but to be honest, I really don't want to.
This is it. I'm out on my own. My bags are literally packed and ready to go. I don't have my parent's vehicle, and I don't have them telling me what to do at all.
FINALLY. I'm free!
Oh, I know I'll miss them. Eventually. But not yet. I'm going to enjoy the fact that I'm actually in control of my life for once, rather than them. And I'm going to have the best year at camp. EVER. Of all time.
So, what would I say to this town if it could understand me?
"Fuck you." That's what.
Why? Cause I hate it here. People are dicks, and everything is a big deal. The town revolves around highschool drama, and I've pissed off a lot of people here. Time to slip under the radar and completely disappear.
That's my dream. To disappear. But I'm sure you'll still hear from me occasionally. Maybe. If you're lucky, who knows.
One thing I know - I'm not coming back here.
I fucking hate this place.
This is Steve,
Signing off.
Tomorrow at 11am I leave town. Maybe for good.
I'm off to camp all summer, except one week. I'm considering coming back for that week, but to be honest, I really don't want to.
This is it. I'm out on my own. My bags are literally packed and ready to go. I don't have my parent's vehicle, and I don't have them telling me what to do at all.
FINALLY. I'm free!
Oh, I know I'll miss them. Eventually. But not yet. I'm going to enjoy the fact that I'm actually in control of my life for once, rather than them. And I'm going to have the best year at camp. EVER. Of all time.
So, what would I say to this town if it could understand me?
"Fuck you." That's what.
Why? Cause I hate it here. People are dicks, and everything is a big deal. The town revolves around highschool drama, and I've pissed off a lot of people here. Time to slip under the radar and completely disappear.
That's my dream. To disappear. But I'm sure you'll still hear from me occasionally. Maybe. If you're lucky, who knows.
One thing I know - I'm not coming back here.
I fucking hate this place.
This is Steve,
Signing off.
Monday, 25 June 2012
I need to write
I feel like writing, but I don't have the motivation to write my book right now. So I'll just vent on here. And try to get out my anger and stress.
First off - School's done!! Like.. DONE! I'm fucking done highschool! FOREVER! It's awesome! This was on Friday.
The weekend was kick-ass. I got to go to my friend's grad (Who I have a thing for, which I think I mentioned in an earlier post). I met some friends of hers, and it was a good time. I bought her flowers, her mom called me sweet, her dad gave me an indirect warning about dating her. All in all, Success!!
Before this, I got to see my friend who I haven't seen in like... 2 years. That was sweet!
After that, I went to my other friend's, and we were gonna get HAMMERED. It would have been sick, but his younger brother wouldn't go to bed. So we couldn't. Ah well.
I came home yesterday. Late. And went to bed. Not so bad.
Today my friend wakes me up at about 10:00. I was a little pissed off, but hey, he just wrote his last final today! So we hung out. And it was good times and high fives. We bought the game "Lollipop Chainsaw", which involves babes, small clothing and zombies. Oh and chainsaws. Fuckin' awesome.
We talked about some serious shit on the way to the city to buy the game. Good times. Basically he knows as much as you guys do now. Plus some cause... you know... he's kinda my best friend. One of the best guys I know.
So then I get the text. From the chick who I may not have mentioned before. Basically I wanted to fuck her, and she wouldn't stop texting me. Ever. Like those "Oh I'm going to shower now" kinda texts. She's so goddamn annoying.
A little backstory here - she liked my friend (the one I hung out with today) and he fucked her friend while they liked each other. She lost her shit and said he cheated on her.
So I'm sick of her texting me, and I have a rubber arm. My friend told me to tell her to fuck off. After some consideration, I decided it was for the best. She was fucking annoying, and I wasn't getting anything out of it. So we had a short texting conversation, and I'm down one friend.
Well, not really a friend. More of an annoyance. I feel bad, but maybe I shouldn't. I feel bad that I pissed her off so bad and made her cry. And maybe I feel bad about it not being entirely my call. But hey, I don't have to worry about her anymore. And I don't ever, EVER need to see her again.
Maybe I shouldn't feel bad. I should lighten up. I'm at camp all summer, then I'm off to face the world. Goodbye everyone on here. It may be a while before you hear from me again.
Steve
First off - School's done!! Like.. DONE! I'm fucking done highschool! FOREVER! It's awesome! This was on Friday.
The weekend was kick-ass. I got to go to my friend's grad (Who I have a thing for, which I think I mentioned in an earlier post). I met some friends of hers, and it was a good time. I bought her flowers, her mom called me sweet, her dad gave me an indirect warning about dating her. All in all, Success!!
Before this, I got to see my friend who I haven't seen in like... 2 years. That was sweet!
After that, I went to my other friend's, and we were gonna get HAMMERED. It would have been sick, but his younger brother wouldn't go to bed. So we couldn't. Ah well.
I came home yesterday. Late. And went to bed. Not so bad.
Today my friend wakes me up at about 10:00. I was a little pissed off, but hey, he just wrote his last final today! So we hung out. And it was good times and high fives. We bought the game "Lollipop Chainsaw", which involves babes, small clothing and zombies. Oh and chainsaws. Fuckin' awesome.
We talked about some serious shit on the way to the city to buy the game. Good times. Basically he knows as much as you guys do now. Plus some cause... you know... he's kinda my best friend. One of the best guys I know.
So then I get the text. From the chick who I may not have mentioned before. Basically I wanted to fuck her, and she wouldn't stop texting me. Ever. Like those "Oh I'm going to shower now" kinda texts. She's so goddamn annoying.
A little backstory here - she liked my friend (the one I hung out with today) and he fucked her friend while they liked each other. She lost her shit and said he cheated on her.
So I'm sick of her texting me, and I have a rubber arm. My friend told me to tell her to fuck off. After some consideration, I decided it was for the best. She was fucking annoying, and I wasn't getting anything out of it. So we had a short texting conversation, and I'm down one friend.
Well, not really a friend. More of an annoyance. I feel bad, but maybe I shouldn't. I feel bad that I pissed her off so bad and made her cry. And maybe I feel bad about it not being entirely my call. But hey, I don't have to worry about her anymore. And I don't ever, EVER need to see her again.
Maybe I shouldn't feel bad. I should lighten up. I'm at camp all summer, then I'm off to face the world. Goodbye everyone on here. It may be a while before you hear from me again.
Steve
Monday, 4 June 2012
Things are looking up!
Hey! A not-depressed Blog post! DECE!
Well, let's start off with the bad news. It happened again. Me and that girl. On a band trip (which was about 4 days long). One night we just snuck off and... yeah. Which was ironic cause we were in a hotel but couldn't do anything inside.
ANYWAY, that's beside the point.
What is the point?
I'm stressed, but things are looking good.
Currently I'm working a project for next year's Student Leadership conference. It's the intro video, which is kind of a big deal, but not really. Basically, if we screw it up nobody will care THAT much... But if we get it right it'll be a kick-ass way to start off SLC. And so far, so good. We have just over a week to finish it.
I also have another video to make for school. it's a music video for English.
And I have Media class, in which we... you guessed it - make videos.
But hey, I love videos. It's awesome!
So yeah, I've been clocking some overtime hours in my basement. It's all good, but I don't get outside :( Not that I do anyway.
Course I just came back from a 20-minute jog. I'm really tired.
Another thing that's stressing me out is work next year. I have nothing lined up yet for this fall, but I'm not too concerned about it just yet. I know that something will come up. The good Lord always provides right?
I do have my summer job lined up, so I'm set for that. Which is excellent. That's 2 months to not have to worry.
So. Why am I not stressed? To be honest, I'm not sure. Maybe cause I'm just living and loving life right now. Which doesn't seem to shameful to me. Maybe it's cause I'm getting my spiritual life back on track.
Who knows? Maybe it's cause I'm in love.
Am I? That's debatable. What is love anyway? Is it a feeling? According to Bon Jovi it's much more than that.
Maybe it's going through so much crap with a person that you can tell them anything. And you know without a shadow of a doubt that you'd do anything for them. Maybe that's what love is. If it is, I'm not completely in love.
Maybe love is wanting to get to know someone so much that you don't want to get to know them all the way so that you can never stop learning about them. That seems complicated enough, so that could be it. If it is, I'm in love. With a girl who more or less raelizes it. Course she hates my bad habits. Drinking, swearing, etc. I love drinking occasionally, you know?
Who knows, if we're meant to be married, we'll figure something out.
If we're not, we're not. There are billions of women on the earth.
Okay now I have to rant about her. She's beautiful. Short (like 5'5) for some reason even though I'm tall I love short girls. She has short brown hair, lovely green eyes, man. I don't even know how to describe her. He face looks a bit like Megan Fox's (The eyebrows and eye shape definitely).
Okay that's enough. I'll sicken you guys.
She was my grad escort though, and we're ridiculously cute together.
It's and akward situation though. She doesn't wanna date me cause of my bad habits, plus the fact that I've had like 4 girlfriends. And she's been my friend through the last 2. She's afraid we'll end up just like them
Oh well, she's going out of the country for a while. It should clear her head.
Anyway, I'm off to bed now. With a smile this time :D
Keep your chins up.
Steve
Well, let's start off with the bad news. It happened again. Me and that girl. On a band trip (which was about 4 days long). One night we just snuck off and... yeah. Which was ironic cause we were in a hotel but couldn't do anything inside.
ANYWAY, that's beside the point.
What is the point?
I'm stressed, but things are looking good.
Currently I'm working a project for next year's Student Leadership conference. It's the intro video, which is kind of a big deal, but not really. Basically, if we screw it up nobody will care THAT much... But if we get it right it'll be a kick-ass way to start off SLC. And so far, so good. We have just over a week to finish it.
I also have another video to make for school. it's a music video for English.
And I have Media class, in which we... you guessed it - make videos.
But hey, I love videos. It's awesome!
So yeah, I've been clocking some overtime hours in my basement. It's all good, but I don't get outside :( Not that I do anyway.
Course I just came back from a 20-minute jog. I'm really tired.
Another thing that's stressing me out is work next year. I have nothing lined up yet for this fall, but I'm not too concerned about it just yet. I know that something will come up. The good Lord always provides right?
I do have my summer job lined up, so I'm set for that. Which is excellent. That's 2 months to not have to worry.
So. Why am I not stressed? To be honest, I'm not sure. Maybe cause I'm just living and loving life right now. Which doesn't seem to shameful to me. Maybe it's cause I'm getting my spiritual life back on track.
Who knows? Maybe it's cause I'm in love.
Am I? That's debatable. What is love anyway? Is it a feeling? According to Bon Jovi it's much more than that.
Maybe it's going through so much crap with a person that you can tell them anything. And you know without a shadow of a doubt that you'd do anything for them. Maybe that's what love is. If it is, I'm not completely in love.
Maybe love is wanting to get to know someone so much that you don't want to get to know them all the way so that you can never stop learning about them. That seems complicated enough, so that could be it. If it is, I'm in love. With a girl who more or less raelizes it. Course she hates my bad habits. Drinking, swearing, etc. I love drinking occasionally, you know?
Who knows, if we're meant to be married, we'll figure something out.
If we're not, we're not. There are billions of women on the earth.
Okay now I have to rant about her. She's beautiful. Short (like 5'5) for some reason even though I'm tall I love short girls. She has short brown hair, lovely green eyes, man. I don't even know how to describe her. He face looks a bit like Megan Fox's (The eyebrows and eye shape definitely).
Okay that's enough. I'll sicken you guys.
She was my grad escort though, and we're ridiculously cute together.
It's and akward situation though. She doesn't wanna date me cause of my bad habits, plus the fact that I've had like 4 girlfriends. And she's been my friend through the last 2. She's afraid we'll end up just like them
Oh well, she's going out of the country for a while. It should clear her head.
Anyway, I'm off to bed now. With a smile this time :D
Keep your chins up.
Steve
Friday, 25 May 2012
What's wrong with love?
I'm going to be brief, and straightforward.
If you're an atheist, cool. I can respect you. What I can't respect is when you continually cut down Christianity.
Why? Let's take a quick look. Atheists - I don't want to stereotype, but like, is it your life goal to undermine Christians? Honestly. I can't speak for all of us, but we don't go around telling you how wrong you are. And if we do, I apologize.
Seriously though, Christianity is based on love. That was Jesus' greatest lesson.
Live Simply
Care Deeply
Love Lots. Or something like that. You get the idea.
If you've read my previous posts, you may be confused as to who I am. I'll just tell you. I'm not perfect. That sums it up. I do my best, I fall down, I get back up again. Some day, I'll stay on the straight and narrow. Now, back onto topic.
Why are we so very "wrong" for loving God? Why are we wrong for loving you? Do you not want love? is that it?
I know it's not. We all want love. So embrace it, instead of trying to grind it into dust. Because, quite frankly, it's not working.
If you're an atheist, cool. I can respect you. What I can't respect is when you continually cut down Christianity.
Why? Let's take a quick look. Atheists - I don't want to stereotype, but like, is it your life goal to undermine Christians? Honestly. I can't speak for all of us, but we don't go around telling you how wrong you are. And if we do, I apologize.
Seriously though, Christianity is based on love. That was Jesus' greatest lesson.
Live Simply
Care Deeply
Love Lots. Or something like that. You get the idea.
If you've read my previous posts, you may be confused as to who I am. I'll just tell you. I'm not perfect. That sums it up. I do my best, I fall down, I get back up again. Some day, I'll stay on the straight and narrow. Now, back onto topic.
Why are we so very "wrong" for loving God? Why are we wrong for loving you? Do you not want love? is that it?
I know it's not. We all want love. So embrace it, instead of trying to grind it into dust. Because, quite frankly, it's not working.
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